I have become very hobbit-like. I like my cozy apartment with my cats, books, computer, etc. My life has become very routine, most would say mundane. I'm not used to going on adventures, at least not in the past decade and a half.
When Gandalf says to Bilbo at the beginning of the movie: "Your life is not in your books and maps, it's out there," he might as well have been speaking to me.
So I have challenged myself to not shy away or be fearful of new things, of changes, of adventures.
The second part of the epiphany is a bit more difficult to share. Fifteen years ago I went through the devastation of betrayal and the end of my marriage. I naturally withdrew to take time to heal. But I also closed off that part of me. I simply had no desire to even think about being in a relationship ever gain.
That is until I saw "The Hobbit."
I was so taken with Richard Armitage's acting that I went home after seeing the movie and looked up to see what other work he had done on IMDB (Internet Movie Database -- don't know what I ever did before they created that genius of a website, but I digress). Much to my delight, several of his works were available via Amazon Prime. So, at 11 pm that night I started to watch "The Vicar of Dibley: A Holy Wholly Happy Ending" in which Richard was a guest star as Harry Kennedy.
While I was watching him, my wall crumbled. He plays such a sweet, wonderful man and he does it so superbly well. By the end I was sobbing, because for the first time in years, I admitted to myself: I am lonely and want to be loved again.
Thank you Richard, from the bottom of my heart, for playing Harry.
(Maybe my last post where I said I am thankful for him, makes a bit more sense now).
Is there someone like Harry out there for me?
Only the Lord knows, but at least now, I am open.